Dog Allergic to Humans

Dewey, the Gross family dog, was discovered to be allergic to his human owners this week after a catastrophic “eating everything” attack. Taken to the local vet, Dewey was discovered to suffer from the prevalent but under-diagnosed human allergies that result in the “complete consumption and digestion of any and all household item within his reach.” According to the local vet, human allergies are as common a malady as canine dander allergies suffered by countless pet owners world-wide. “Simply backwards,” the vet noted, “and with eating everything symptoms instead of sneezing and itching.”

“When we found him eating his third box of tissues in two hours, we knew something was wrong,” Louise Gross said, “we always thought he was just a really bad dog.”

Luckily the cause of such misbehavior was caught in time. Dewey is currently on a cocktail combination of Claritin, Alavert, and Nasonex nasal spray that Dewey has been taught to administer to himself. And in a display of true love, each member of the Gross family has shaved their heads in solidarity with Dewey, so as not to shed and aggravate his condition.